Money is one of the most common sources of conflict in a marriage. Research published by the National Library of Medicine in 2023 found that finances were the primary reason for disagreement in 40% of long-term relationships.
When money gets tight, emotions often rise. Couples might avoid important discussions or feel stuck in cycles of blame. Advisors often find themselves in the middle of this tension, balancing practical financial guidance with emotional awareness. When individuals are in the throes of a stressful period because of money matters, research indicates they’re less likely to have important and necessary conversations.
Helping couples work through financial strain can strengthen both their financial well-being and their relationship with you. Here are a few ways to guide these conversations with empathy, structure and professionalism.
1. Create a Safe and Neutral Environment
Money conversations are emotional, and even strong relationships can become tense when discussing spending, debt or savings habits. Set clear expectations at the start of a meeting so each partner feels heard.
You might suggest that one person speaks at a time or agree to focus on one issue before moving to the next. Creating structure helps maintain civility and ensures both clients feel that your office is a judgment-free space.
2. Practice Active Listening
Financial disagreements often stem from deeper emotional concerns about safety, freedom or control. For instance, one spouse might see a large savings account as security, while the other views it as a missed opportunity to enjoy life now.
In fact, per the market research platform Gitnux, “56% of communication success hallmarks are attributed to listening skills.”When one partner speaks, listen for the underlying meaning. Summarize what you hear to validate their feelings before asking the other partner to respond.
For example: “Mary, it sounds like you feel uneasy about not having a larger emergency fund because that represents security for you, is that right?” This approach helps defuse tension, builds trust and keeps the conversation productive.
3. Shift the Focus to Shared Goals
When couples argue about money, they often get caught up in details that miss the bigger picture. As their advisor, you can guide them back to what matters most — their shared vision for the future.
Encourage them to identify common priorities like buying a home, planning for retirement or saving for education. Once those goals are clear, financial planning becomes a collaborative effort instead of a power struggle. Budgets and tradeoffs feel purposeful when they connect to something meaningful.
4. Use Objective Tools to Reframe the Discussion
When emotions run high, numbers can ground the conversation. Use visual tools and financial planning software to illustrate key points. Showing objective data helps couples see their situation clearly, without assigning blame.
A fact-based approach helps turn emotional disagreements into data-driven discussions. It gives couples the clarity to make informed choices and reinforces your role as a trusted professional guiding them toward financial stability.
Supporting Advisors Who Support Clients
Advisors play a unique role in helping couples find common ground around money. By facilitating open, structured and data-driven discussions, you not only help clients strengthen their financial outlook but also deepen their trust in your guidance.
PreciseFP makes that work easier. As an award-winning data-gathering platform, PreciseFP helps advisors streamline onboarding, collect client data and deliver a consistent, professional experience. With customizable templates, eSignatures, document delivery and integrated risk tolerance questionnaires, you can spend less time chasing paperwork and more time supporting your clients’ goals together.
Firms use PreciseFP to open accounts faster, create accurate plans and gather the right data from the start so nothing gets missed. Start your free 14-day trial today.
